For today's blog, I have listed the top three reasons why it’s frustrating to be the mother of my seven-year-old son. I drew inspiration from a few of yesterday's trying moments.
- He’s too smart and gets easily distracted by his brilliant, yet zany ideas: After giving him laundry to put away, I find him in the office an hour later, watching You Tube videos on sea snakes (he’s obsessed with reptiles). In passing I ask him if he put his clothes away like I had asked. He turns to me and says, “No ma’am. I was looking up fast and easy ways to put clothes away, and I got distracted with this video, Sharks vs. Black Mambas.” Ah, yes. The old, “battle of two species that will never share the same environment” decoy.
- Due to his brilliance, he’s overly confident and thinks he invincible: He comes into the kitchen with a long dowel, which I have no clue where he got it from, telling me he needs a bucket. “What for?” I ask. “I’m going to go trap a coral snake, so I need a bucket to put it in.” Okay—I suppose this is what the dowel is for. “You know, son,” I reply. “Since a coral snake can, ya know, kill you, and all, I think if you come across one, it’s best to let it be… Or run away. Running away might be better.” He doesn’t like this. “No, mom. I’m not going to touch it,” he says, like I’m an idiot. “That’s what this stick is for. I’m going to pick it up and put it in the bucket. Or a box—a box will work, too. Do we have a box?” I shake my head, “Babe, I’m telling you, if you see any snake, leave it alone.” “MOM, I know what I’m doing—I’ve seen the guys do it on You Tube. Trust me, okay?” We stand there arguing for fifteen minutes. Do you know how long fifteen minutes is?
- He’s brutally honest: He comes into my closet and asks me what our plans are for the night. I like how he thinks far enough ahead when it comes to evening entertainment, but when it comes to attempting to trap one of the world’s top ten deadliest snakes in a box, it doesn’t occur to him that it might be a bad idea. Anyway, I tell him, “Daddy has a meeting to go to, so it’s just us. I think we should do something fun, like movie night. I can pop some popcorn and we can eat it in the living room!” Now, this sounds like a grand old time to me. And considering the fact that I don’t let them eat outside the kitchen, I thought he might appreciate this adventurous streak of mine. “What do you think?” I ask. “Nah,” he says. “I don’t like to do boring stuff.”