You know those days when you don’t feel very smart? I experience them more than I’d like to admit, but not to worry – this isn’t one of those blog entries where I bash myself the whole time. I’m only going to bash myself a little.
So not very long ago, I wrote a post about lying liars, and the government agencies that tell those lies. “Down with them all!” However, it occurred to me the other day that I, as a parent, am not much different than the United States government. Sure, I don’t have secret tunnels buried under my house, and I have no idea where Jimmy Hoffa is, but when it comes to my kids, I’m in the habit of bending the truth in order to get specific results. After a brief, yet eye opening conversation with my 7-year-old, I’ve come to realize I, too, am wearing garments that are ablaze with deceit – which is an upscale way of saying my pants are on fire.
There we are, my son and I, the last day of school, discussing the events that took place in his classroom; an end of school party, pictures, yada, yada. Then, out of nowhere, he asks, “Do you really know how to get in touch with Santa?” Yes, I’m that parent that stoops to threatening my children with ending Christmas, let’s move on. In order to preserve this leverage, I say, “Yes, I do,” tapping my temple, “I have his direct line memorized.”
“Really?” he asks. “Because a lot of parents just say that in order to get their kids to behave.”
“So…do you really know his number?”
“Guess what I’m making for an after-school snack!”
Yes, I’m also that parent who uses treats as a distraction from having to answer uncomfortable questions.